Not Dating
by SilverySparks
Summary: Jace reveals that he knows about Alec's and Magnus's relationship, but Alec tries to deny everything. Later, when they are alone together, Jace makes Alec confront his feelings and persuades Alec to go and apologize to Magnus. Malec and as much Jalec as is canon.
1. Not Dating

[…] Luke's eyes were still closed but the ugly greyish tint had gone from his skin, and his breathing was deep and regular.

"He's all right!" Clary exclaimed, and Alec, Jace, and Simon came hurrying over to have a look.

"So he'll live?" Simon asked. "You're sure?"

Magnus sank down onto the armrest of a grubby-looking armchair. He was exhausted. Working magic was at least as trying as physical labour, but Shadowhunters never seemed to understand that. They thought he just had to snap his fingers and all their dreams would come true.

"Yes, I'm sure," he said irritably. "I'm the High Warlock of Brooklyn; I know what I'm doing."

He looked around for Alec and his eyes fell on Jace, who stood close by his parabatai and was whispering something to him. Alec was looking at him with a kind of wistful affection in his eyes.

Magnus bristled. "Which reminds me," he said, knowing he couldn't quite keep the annoyance from his voice, which irritated him even more, "that I'm not exactly sure what it is you think you're doing, calling on me every time one of you has so much as an ingrown toenail that needs clipping. As High Warlock, my time is valuable. There are plenty of lesser warlocks who'd be happy to do a job for you at a greatly reduced rate."

"You're _charging_ us?" Clary protested. "But Luke is a friend!"

Seeing the expressions that ranged from mere surprise to mild shock filled him with a grim satisfaction. What _did_ they think they were doing? If not for Alec he wouldn't have come at all, but if Alec preferred to swoon over that cocky parabatai of his, there really was no reason why Magnus shouldn't charge them.

"Not a friend of mine," he said nonchalantly. "I met him only on the few occasions when your mother brought him along when your memory spells were being refreshed." He lit himself a cigarette. "Did you think I was helping you out of the goodness of my heart?" He had been, actually, but they didn't need to know that. Especially not Blondie. "Or am I just the only warlock you happen to know?" he asked.

Magnus could see fury and indignation glowing in Jace's eyes. _Good_ , he thought grimly. But then the boy opened his mouth.

"No," he said darkly, "but you _are_ the only warlock we know who happens to be dating a friend of ours."

Magnus gaped at him. He couldn't believe Alec had told Blondie anything, not with the way he'd reacted when Magnus had asked him if Jace knew he was gay. It just didn't make sense. Still, he felt a tiny gleam of hope spark in his chest. If Alec _had_ told Jace he was dating Magnus, that would mean he didn't mind Blondie knowing he was in a relationship, which would mean he had accepted that- He looked at Alec, who was staring at Jace with a look of sheer panic, and his heart sank. Alec hadn't told him. Of course not.

Alec found his voice first. "Why would you say something like that?" he asked, trying and failing to pretend he had no idea what Jace was talking about.

"Something like what?" Jace asked.

"That I'm dating- that we're- it's not _true_!"

"I didn't say he was dating _you_ , but funny that you knew just what I meant, isn't it?" Jace retorted, displaying such a spectacular lack of tact that Magnus almost felt sorry for Alec.

"We're not dating," Alec said, and any sympathy Magnus might have had for him dissolved. That Alec hadn't wanted Blondie to know he was gay – fine. Shadowhunters always were a bit prim about that. But that he was denying their relationship even when Jace so obviously knew, in the vain hope that Blondie might one day fall in love with him…

"Oh?" Magnus said furiously. "So you're just that friendly with everybody, is that it?"

Alec stared at him. " _Magnus_ ," he said, his voice almost breaking. His wide blue eyes held desperation and a plea more fervent than anything Magnus had ever seen before, but he was too angry to care. What did Alec want him to do? Tell Blondie that he was not gay? That was no good; Jace knew. Tell him that they weren't dating so Alec could be with Jace? Like that was ever going to happen. Magnus crossed his arms and leaned back on his chair, meeting Alec's eyes with a cold gaze. Alec turned away.

"You don't-" he said to Jace, his voice getting more and more desperate by the minute, "I mean, you couldn't possibly think-"

Blondie shook his head. "What I don't get is you going to all these lengths to hide your relationship with Magnus from me when it's not as if I would mind if you _did_ tell me about it."

His words filled Magnus with a spiteful satisfaction. There Alec had it: Jace was not, and would never be, in love with Alec. Apparently, Alec had realised that as well, for he went deadly pale. Only Jace didn't understand, as usual.

"Help me convince him that I really don't care," he said to Magnus.

"Oh, I think he believes you about that," Magnus replied quietly. Again, he couldn't help feeling a tiny bit sorry for Alec. Listening to the person you loved talk about your love life that carelessly had to hurt. But then, Alec didn't really love Jace. It was just puppy love, a silly crush Alec had developed for the first available person once he'd realised he was gay.

Blondie looked bewildered. "Then I don't…" he said helplessly.

 _Because he thinks he loves you, idiot_ , Magnus thought angrily. Honestly, how blind was it possible to be?

For a second, Magnus was sure he would tell Jace. He was sick of being a placeholder, sick of knowing that Alec was only with him because Blondie didn't want to. He'd had enough of dancing to Alec's tune only to be shoved aside whenever Jace was around. It was high time for Alec to face the truth. But he couldn't do it. He couldn't betray Alec's trust in that way, no matter how much he wanted to.

"Jace, that's enough," Clary piped in. Magnus had almost forgotten she and the vampire were there too. "Leave it alone."

"Leave what alone?" Luke inquired. He'd sat up on the couch and was staring around looking mildly confused.

"Nothing," Magnus, Alec, Jace, Clary and Simon said together.


	2. Be Happy For Me

"There you are."

Jace was standing in the doorway of Alec's room, taking in the scene. "I've been wondering what you were up to. Why don't you let me do that?"

Alec looked down at the stele in his hands, at the rune for speed he had been drawing on his own bare chest. Then he looked back at Jace, a slightly apologetic look in his eyes.

Marking each other was their ritual, performed before every mission ever since they shared the parabatai bond. No matter how much at odds they had been, no matter how cross and insulted and upset at each other, not once had they renounced the extra power that runes drawn by parabatai gave them. Not once, ever.

Until now.

Alec lowered his gaze. "I didn't think you'd want… I mean…" He blushed.

"Don't talk rubbish." Jace strode over to the bed and snatched the stele out of Alec's hands. "Come here."

Alec turned towards him and gritted his teeth when the stele touched his skin. Jace drew the rune in silence while Alec sat tensely, avoiding his gaze. Eventually Jace sighed.

"I can see you're not going to broach the subject yourself and just ignoring it won't solve anything," he said matter-of-factly. "So. How exactly do you feel about Magnus Bane?"

Alec flinched and Jace closed his eyes, wanting to kick himself. _Well done,_ he thought. _You really know how to broach a touchy subject._

"Sorry," he said aloud, in what he hoped was a gentle voice. "I didn't mean to be tactless. It's just…" He hesitated.

Alec looked up. "What?" he asked edgily. Jace met his gaze, not bothering to look at the stealth rune he was drawing on Alec's forearm.

"You know I'm not exactly the most observant person on earth," he admitted. "Clary and Izzy can read people much better than I. But even I noticed that Magnus was hurt yesterday. So… how do you feel about him?"

"There's nothing," Alec said quickly. "Between us, I mean. He's just… a friend."

"He didn't seem to think so."

Alec shrugged, and Jace let out a sigh.

"Please don't lie to me, Alec," he said earnestly. "You know I can always tell." He paused. "You know you can tell me everything."

Alec bit his lip. "Why would Magnus be hurt?" he asked, avoiding the question.

"Maybe because you denied your relationship with him and pretended that he doesn't mean anything to you?" Jace suggested.

"He– but I don't mean anything to him either!" Alec protested. "So why would that bother him? He just agreed to go out with me because he pitied–" He held his breath. Then, apparently realising that it was too late anyway, he went on resignedly. "He felt sorry for me, that's all. Why would a person like him care at all about me?"

"Why shouldn't he?" Jace said honestly. "You're worth caring about."

Alec gaped at him, and Jace felt a stab of pity at seeing the incredulity in his parabatai's eyes.

"But I'm just… me," the older boy said disbelievingly. "I'm not cool or handsome or funny or a good fighter or anything! I'm not… not you," he added, very quietly.

Jace stared at his friend, comprehension slowly dawning on him. So this was why Alec had been so upset that Jace didn't care about his relationship with Magnus. He was in love with _him_.

Apparently, Alec had realised that he had given himself away. Blushing furiously, he tried to pull his arm out of Jace's hands, but Jace tightened his grip around the other boy's wrists.

"Alec," he said, meeting his parabatai's eyes with solemn urgency. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course," Alec replied without hesitating. "You know that."

Jace pulled off his shirt and pressed the stele back into Alec's hands. "You're my parabatai," he said, holding out his arm so Alec could mark him. "You are the source of at least half my strength. I was always a good shadowhunter, but what made me truly extraordinary was you. _I am not better than you._ " He could see that Alec didn't believe him, so he added, "Do you really think I would have chosen you if you were not worth caring about?"

Alec closed his mouth. "No," he mumbled finally.

"There you go," Jace said. "And if I can see that in you, Magnus can, too." He watched Alec's hands tremble as he moved the stele over Jace's skin.

"And if you care about Magnus at all," Jace continued quietly, "which I know you do, I think going over and apologizing might be a good idea."

Alec remained silent. For the first time Jace noticed how gently his parabatai's hands moved over his body, almost caressingly, but hesitant at the same time – always afraid of going too far, of being _unnatural._

Jace looked at the boy he loved like a brother. And, carefully, in a voice as soft and gentle as he could make it, he said, "I just want to see you with someone who loves you as more than family. Or parabatai," he added softly. "I want you to be happy with someone who loves you… that way. And you know I can't do that."

Alec closed his eyes, lifting the stele off Jace's skin. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, barely audible. "I'm sorry. I know it's wrong. I shouldn't–"

" _Alec._ " Jace gripped his parabatai's forearms tightly. "There is nothing, _nothing_ wrong with how you feel. Don't ever think that."

Alec looked down at his friend's hands around his wrists. "Thank you," he said in a constricted voice, not meeting Jace's eyes. Then he freed his arms and started drawing another rune on his parabatai's torso. His hands were still trembling.

"Please don't let me get in the way of your happiness, Alec," Jace said. "Go make it up to Magnus. Let go of whatever you're feeling for me."

"Like you let go of your feelings for Clary?" Alec asked without looking up from his work.

Jace tensed. "I don't know what you're–" he started, but was stopped by Alec's flat stare.

"You just asked me not to lie to you," the eighteen-year-old said calmly. "Is it too much to ask the same from you?"

Jace opened his mouth, closed it, then looked down at his hands. "No," he mumbled. "I'm sorry." He paused, and Alec waited, patient as always. Jace took a deep breath.

"This is… this is exactly why I want you to be with Magnus," he started, somewhat lamely. "Or anyone else who makes you happy. To get over me. Because I can't get over Clary, and while you just think your feelings are wrong, mine really _are_ wrong. She's my _sister_ , Alec! How can I be in love with my sister?"

He looked up to see Alec looking at him the way he always did, open, trusting, his blue eyes holding no judgment, and was flooded by an unexpected wave of gratefulness. He had thought that there was no one he could tell about this, that everyone would be disgusted by this revelation, but he had forgotten how well Alec knew the problem. He had forgotten how well Alec knew him.

"It's not your fault, Jace," his parabatai said gently, his expression serious. "You don't get to choose who you fall in love with. Believe me, I've tried."

"That doesn't make it right," Jace said. "And that doesn't make it any easier to stop loving her. So if you could get over me… at least one of us would be happy. The one of us who deserves it most."

Alec stopped in the middle of putting on his shirt to stare at him. "No," he said. "Jace. I don't–"

"Alec, please. Be happy, okay? For me."

Their eyes met, and Jace stared imploringly at Alec until his parabatai lowered his gaze. "I'll try."

"Thank you," Jace said earnestly and pulled his own shirt back over his head. "Let's go then." He started for the door, but Alec's voice called him back.

"But, Jace," his parabatai said, and Jace turned to look at him.

"Yes?"

"You have to do something for me as well."

"Anything."

Alec looked at him, his eyes pleading and unyielding at the same time. "Please stop being so reckless," he said. "Especially when I'm not with you. I know you don't care about your own life, but when you die I'll be the one who has to live with the pain." He pulled up his sleeve to expose his parabatai rune.

"Don't do this to me, Jace. Please."

Jace looked into the deep blue eyes of the person who knew more about him than anyone else in the world; who knew he was in love with his sister and didn't pull back in disgust; who, Jace realised, shared a lot of the troubles he himself had been carrying around with him – and nodded.

"I promise."

* * *

So... it has happened. I continued one of my oneshots. I'm pretty proud of myself now :D And you know what, there's actually one more chapter up and coming. It'll be about Alec actually going to Magnus's and apologizing. Release date: 20th February :)

Love, Sparks


	3. Because You're You

When Magnus heard Alec's voice on the intercom, he was sorely tempted to ignore it. Pretend he wasn't home. Leave Alec standing outside in the gusty street. He certainly deserved it.

But pretending not to be home was something cowards did. And, unlike his apparently-not-boyfriend, Magnus was not a coward. So he forced himself to push the 'speak' button and said, "I'm sorry, who?"

"Alec," Alec said again. "Alec Lightwood. Um, you know… oh." There was a pause as Alec caught up with the sarcasm. Then, "I'd like to come in and talk to you. If that's okay. Please."

Magnus pushed the door opener without a reply.

When Alec came hurrying up the stairs, Magnus was already leaning in the doorway of his flat, his arms crossed before his chest and wearing a very disgruntled expression. The shadowhunter's steps slowed at the sight of him, a fact that filled Magnus with grim satisfaction. He waited.

"Um," Alec said. "Hi."

"Which of you is it?"

"Which of us is what?" Alec asked, confused.

"Which of your little shadowhunter friends has stubbed his toe this time," Magnus said. "That's why you're here, isn't it?"

Alec stared at him, looking like a puppy that has taken a wrong turn and suddenly finds itself confronted by three Rottweilers.

"No," he said timidly.

"Well then," Magnus said, pushing himself off of the wall and opening the door to his apartment, "I really don't know why you're here. Since we're not dating." He turned around to step back into the loft.

"I'm here to apologize," Alec said behind him. His voice was uncharacteristically firm. Magnus paused.

"You could have said that over the intercom," he said over his shoulder, despising himself for his harshness. "Said 'sorry' and left. That would have saved the both of us this uncomfortable conversation."

"No, I couldn't," Alec said defiantly. "I wanted to do this properly."

At this, Magnus almost turned back towards the boy entirely before he stopped himself and settled for an awkward sideways position. "Why?"

He could see Alec's eyes blaze darkly as the shadowhunter looked squarely up at him and replied, "Because you're worth it."

Magnus stared at him, dumbstruck. That sentence, in that tone, was so unlike Alec that Magnus wondered for a second if Jace or Izzy had scripted this conversation for him. But then again, it had surprised him, and that was very much like Alec and very unlike Blondie.

Alec mistook his silence for indifference. "I mean, you mean a lot to me," he plunged on desperately. "And I really wanted to make it up to you, because I know I acted like a jerk–"

"Alexander." Magnus was surprised at how deep and fervent his voice was as he stepped forward and took Alec's wrists.

"…and I really didn't mean to–" Alec cut off in midsentence and stared up at him with wide eyes. "Yes?"

"Come in," Magnus said, still in that deep, throaty voice he wasn't entirely sure belonged to him, and pulled the shadowhunter into the loft.

Once inside, he sat the very tense Alec down on the couch and shoved a cup of tea into his hands. He only realized his mistake when the mug almost slipped out of the boy's trembling fingers, but even in this unsettled condition Alec possessed the presence of mind to catch the cup and put it down safely on the table. Then he pushed his hands under his thighs and looked uncertainly up at Magnus, clearly waiting for permission to speak.

Magnus felt disgusted with the way he had treated the boy before.

He of all people should know how hard it was to be something everyone else found repulsive. He of all people should understand fear of losing your family's affection. He of all people should have supported Alec. Instead he had made his situation worse.

He sat down in the armchair opposite Alec and raised his eyes to meet the boy's. "I should apologize too," he said gently. "I understand why you did it."

Alec shook his head. "Please let me do this," he said. When Magnus nodded, he took a deep breath.

"I want you to know that I have talked with Jace. He knows that… how I feel about him. And we all know it makes no sense for me to keep running after him."

Magnus could tell how much effort and courage it took for Alec to say these words as calmly as he did. He saw the boy beneath the surface, nervous and ashamed and still afraid of what he was. It made Magnus sad, and angry at the community of Nephilim – because what he saw was beautiful.

"I also want you to know that I… that you're very important to me," Alec went on. "When I denied our relationship I realised that… that I didn't want to _not_ be in a relationship with you. If that makes sense," he said self-consciously.

And then, under his breath, more to himself than to Magnus, he added, "In that way, you certainly mean more to me than Jace. For whatever that's worth."

It was worth everything. Magnus hadn't realised just how much this meant to him until he heard Alec say it aloud. Alec liked him more than Jace, in a romantic way at least. For now, that was all he needed.

"So," Alec said, rapidly losing his controlled manner and turning back into the tense, timid, trembling boy he was underneath, "I was wondering if… if we were, you know… still _together_. Which I'd really like to be. If that's okay. Please?" He looked imploringly up at Magnus.

Magnus was pretty sure that it wasn't physically possible for a heart to melt, at least not while the heart's owner was alive. But then he wasn't really sure of anything anymore, because as he looked at Alec Lightwood looking at him with wide and pleading lake blue eyes surrounded by a jet-black fringe, with his hands trembling and his brow half furrowed in an expression of uncertainty, the thought of his heart actually melting didn't seem quite so unlikely anymore.

He stood up and crossed over to the sofa Alec was sitting on. He sat down next to him, took the boy's hands in his, and, when he had found his voice, said, "Alec. My Alexander. I…" He took a deep breath, then shook his head as words failed him. Instead, he put one hand on the back of Alec's neck and kissed him.

He saw surprise flicker across the boy's features before they both closed their eyes, leaning into the kiss. Magnus breathed in the warmth and the familiar smell of Alec's moth-eaten sweater as he wrapped his arms around the shadowhunter, pulling him closer. He relished the feeling of Alec's lips on his, Alec's tongue in his mouth, and he remembered the last time he had almost made the mistake of leaving Alec, halfway through their first date; and the kiss on the landing afterwards when he had realised just how much he would have missed if he had actually gone through with it.

This kiss was the same, only more; for this time Alec was not just an incredibly good-looking shadowhunter he barely knew, this time he was Alexander, _his_ Alexander, _his_ shadowhunter, and between lips and warmth and stuttering heartbeats Magnus somehow mustered the concentration to think, _Next time…_ – he gasped as Alec bit down gently on his lower lip – _…I should really…_ – somehow his hand had found its way under Alec's shirt, and feeling the hard muscles under the smooth skin sent an electric current from his fingers to the tips of his toes – _…think twice…_ – Alec's fingertips raked lightly over Magnus's scalp and effectively shut down his brain activity for a moment – _…about chasing this one…_ – Alec's hand caressed the inside of his thigh and Magnus's heart rate doubled immediately – … _away_ , he finished triumphantly and gently pulled out of the kiss.

They looked at each other, panting, with gleaming eyes. Alec bit his lip. And then, timidly and with that honest innocence that was so typical for him, the boy asked, "Is that a yes?"

Magnus couldn't stop himself, he burst out laughing. This was the Alec he had missed so much, shy, sweet, self-conscious and just _himself_. He looked down at the boy, and before the confusion in those beautiful eyes could turn into doubt he said, "My Alexander. You have to know that I'm in love with you."

Alec's eyes widened in surprise, and after a moment's stunned silence he said incredulously, "You– why?"

Magnus's expression turned serious, although he was still so full of love and happiness he felt it must be radiating from him like a halo. "Why?" he repeated softly, taking Alec's hands. "Alexander, you're _you_. How could I not love you?"

And as the boy sat speechless, Magnus leaned forward and gently touched his lips to Alec's once more. With a tiny smile he whispered, "By the way… that's a yes."


End file.
